thank you to the woman who saved my lifeĀ 

I feel like im on top of the world, like everything is going my way. I have goals that shine like hope into a future I couldn’t even imagine only months ago. The deep ache that consumed me is now but a distance thrum of energy, reminding me of the before and how far I’ve  come. I still have a long way to go, but the darkness that shrouded my path is gone. In its place is a golded warmth that makes me excited for life. I havent been excited about anything in a long time. 

I am comfortable in my home and the creeping anxiety is fading away. I am finally content with where my life is heading. I feel as though I am paving a stone path that will be the foundation of my happiness. Happiness is my goal and I’m so close to reaching it that I could scream. I want to run outside in a thunderstorm and spin around and around in cirles until the ground and the sky are confused in my vision. And if the great lightening chooses me to strike, I shall use its power to propell me towards my dreams.

 I want to say thank you, to the most beautiful best friend I could ever ask for. You picked me up when I was at the lowest point in my life and helped me see that I had potential. You see it in me everyday even when I can’t see it for myself. You pointed me towards a new begining and helped me to see that I am beautiful and worthy. So thank you, for saving me from myself. I will forever be greatful 

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another mop

I want to ease into a great love
That will define the world
and make relativity seem simple in comparison

I am lonely
As lonely as the sun, hanging in the sky all by itself
Like the stars that shine so bright but so far away from one another
Like the separation of two pieces of land by a strong flowing river that refuses to move
Like the ocean floor that longs for the sky
And the sunlight longs for a touch of darkness
I am lonely
I crave the crowded, noisy warmth of companionship
I want to ease into a great love
That will define the world
and make relativity seem simple in comparison
I want the touch of another
To know what skin feels like when it touches mine
When it wraps me up in a loving hug
and makes me feel safe for the first time in a long time
I want someone to wipe away the tears that flow freely
as I attempt to assuage the deep ache in my heart
I am lonely and I am hopeful

an observation; the man in line at medicare

Part of my Observation collection

a cigarette behind one ear,
a pen behind the other
arms covered in tattoos
he moved with a graceful swagger
his light brown skin,
an indication of his heritage
his clothes and mustache
a sign of his modern association
he looked like someone
I would like to get to know
if only I had the courage
to get up and talk to him

 

 

the woman I want to be

She had an elegance about her. The way she moved with a flow and grace, every single step and twitch a precise art crafted in her mind. The swish of her long brown hair and the way her hips swayed slightly when she walked, her footsteps a whisper on the pavement.

She cultivated her image. She wanted to be something , and so she was. She wanted to do something and she did. Her confidence came with ease, and her smile even more so. Her laughter was boisterous and infectious; the pure joy she emanated made everyone in her vicinity immediately happy. She was the incarnation of perfection, and yet she had her flaws too.

She never wore matching socks, hated getting out of bed on cold winter mornings and often took to a tub of nutella with a spoon. She was blunt and unapologetic, sometimes coming of as mean and she hated animals. She had the tendency to talk over people and she snorted loudly when she tried to scoff in derision.

And yet he still loved her anyway.